The summer (whatever that was) is over and it’s back to work/school/etc so I thought maybe a few jokes would be all anyone can manage. These ones really aren’t that complicated, so don’t think too hard.
Q Why do dogs lick their balls?
A Because they can.
Q Do you smoke after intercourse?
A I don’t know, I’ve never looked.
Q What is a MilliHelen?
A The degree of female beauty required to launch a single ship.
40-60 Try weekly
60-80 Try weakly.
(Editor’s Note: This one may be a bit too true to be good. I wouldn’t know, of course. If you are affected by the issues raised by this joke, you can find a helpful factsheet on the BBC webpage …etc).
There are two eggs boiling in the pan. One says “It’s a bit hot in here, isn’t it?” The other replies “Wait till you get outside, they smash your head in.”
Q How do you make a Swiss roll?
A Push him down the Alps.
Q How do you eat tofu?
A 1. Open packet. 2. Throw tofu in bin. 3. Cook meat. 4. Eat meat.
Q What’s black and furry and eighteen inches long, with whiskers?
A A cat.
A I say, I say, I say – my wife’s gone to the East Indies.
B Oh, Jamaica?
A No you fool, not the West Indies, the East Indies.
B Oh, Jakarta?
A No, she went of her own accord.
The sad thing is, these all still make me laugh. Every time, and some of them may have been broadcast before I was born. As I said, the old ones (or at least the simplest ones) are the best.
Enjoy the autumn and share a few jokes with me, please.